I can tell that my child wants t give up. How do I help?
This is a very common question that parents have so I don’t want you to feel you are alone in this. There are activities that keep kids busy and out of trouble and there are activities that give them tools to become better at an important skill or in their personal and character development. My personal opinion is that there are some activities you absolutely should make your children do. I will give you my own personal experience with my own children and then some observations I have had over the years from other families in this same situation.
It goes without saying that I highly value the lessons of discipline, respect, self-defense and perseverance, among other attributes that we teach here at Olson’s.
So, I will use another example.
When my children were very young (5-7), I was told from many different sources that an education in music would help children in their development of math skills later in life and help them do better in school. So, they each took lessons in a musical instrument. There were many times they wanted to quit, complained about lessons and practice, but they never had a choice. Just like going to school and doing homework, music lessons were part of life. I knew this would be good for them and that they would benefit from the lessons long term. I am happy to say that math was one of their strongest subjects all through college and my decision to have them do something I felt would be good for them paid off.
Remember, you are the parent. You are the boss. We all want our children to be happy but that doesn’t mean they get free reign on what the can eat, people they hang out with, as well as activities you have them involved in. I have observed many parents who take a relaxed stance in this area and unfortunately what the children learn is that they are in charge, they can do what they want and if they want to quit something, it’s ok. They end up not doing anything really and since the parent never established themselves as the authority, the teen years can be very difficult when they go through the defiant and rebellious stages.
I cannot emphasize enough how important teaching children to follow through, finish what they start and commit to something is. There is power in completing something and doing a good job. Like here at Olson’s, earning your black belt. So much goes in to earning that belt and being a black belt is something no one can ever take away from you. And, once you learn and proof to yourself that you can do it, you learn you can do anything you set your mind too. Just like doing well in school, going to University or working towards a career of your choice. Even if it is hard. Even if you don’t feel like it. Even if you are afraid.
So, finally, yes. I believe you should make your children do some things that they don’t want to do. I would make sure however, to figure out if they are just acting bored or lazy, or is there a real issue that makes them want to quit. Like fear and feeling inadequate. We can certainly work together with you and Samuel to see what might be causing the lack of motivation and then focus on a plan of action to earn his black belt. I promise you it will be worth it
Wishing you a harmonious and happy home! Amanda Olson